Reporter Closes Out Summer With Ice Cream Caper

Some flavorful writing by New York Times "Crime Scene" chronicler Michael Wilson.

This particular “Crime Scene” article by Michael Wilson was posted online Sunday and appeared in print on page A1 of Monday’s New York Times. For anyone who missed, it was a case of elevating a somewhat mundane crime spree to more poetic levels.

Here is how Wilson began his article:

A particular wave of crime has yet to crest, a pattern of theft in Manhattan that has penetrated the safest of neighborhoods.

I scream.

The thieves know just where to strike, entering stores and making their way through the aisles, past the diapers, the formula, the razors and the deodorant.

You scream.

In response, stores have put in place all manner of security measures. Cameras. Alarms. New locks. Security patrols.

We all scream.

But nothing has stopped the thieves from taking the very specific item — one of life’s enduring, sweet pleasures as summer takes a bow — that they have come for.

For ice cream.

The police have asked the public for assistance in identifying four suspects in a string of ice cream thefts since at least November. They have stolen approximately 1,249 cartons or bars of ice cream and gelato in 11 thefts, the police said. All the thefts took place in chain stores like Duane Reade, CVS and Rite Aid.

After a start like that, how can you not read the rest!?

@hollywoodspin Richard Horgan is co-editor of Fishbowl.